It’s a rocky road this pregnancy caper, and with the good comes a little bit of not so great, especially if you’re battling morning sickness.
Having a supportive partner helps, although sometimes they need reminded of a few things about what it’s like for us to be pregnant.
Here are 10 things pregnant woman want to tell their partner:
1. Don’t comment on my size
Telling me how ‘huge’ I look or saying comments such as ‘wow you really are stacking on weight’ will earn you a one-way trip to the spare room. I know I look like a baby elephant, with stripes, there’s no need to mention it.
2. Just because I can be the designated driver doesn’t mean I have to
So next time I drive you and your mates, a little courtesy back rub in return might be nice.
3. Nesting is actually a thing
So don’t think I’m a burglar when I’m awake at 2am sorting out the linen cupboard and making labels for the sheets, towels and duvet covers. If you like you could come and help me?
4. When I have a crazy craving at 9pm on a Friday night I want you to get it for me NOW
Don’t argue and suggest an alternative, heading out to the shops to buy pickles or candy floss is the least you can do for the mother of your unborn child.
5. You’re not going anywhere when I hit the 37 week mark
When that happens, I’ll be stressing that every ache or pain is the start of labour, so don’t even think about hitting the pub or going away for the weekend, you’ve been warned!
6. Get used to my emotions being all over the place
If I’m crying because I dropped a piece of toast on the floor then just roll with it and pick the bloody thing off the ground for me. While you’re down there how about mopping the floor too? Pregnancy makes us very tired and unreasonable, deal with it.
7. Don’t eat my favourite forbidden food in front of me
If you’re going to eat my favourite type of soft cheese or shellfish in front me, sneakily eat it when I’m not around. You will avoid an earful or worse, me throwing it in the bin!
8. If you can’t find the milk it’s probably in the oven
Being ‘upduffed’ makes our brains go fuzzy, especially if we’re already dealing with a toddler.
9. We are never fine
Don’t believe me when I tell you that I’m fine with your clothes being left on the floor or that it’s fine your mates come over for a poker night, I’m lying. It’s not fine.
10. Everything is your fault
So please don’t argue with me about who put the dent in the car, I’m carrying a baby for goodness sake, the only thing that matters is that I’m safe!
Bonus thing: You are always wrong. The end.